Onward

After the last month and a half of not being able to get into the gym for weight training and eating unclean, I rededicated myself yesterday to the clean lifestyle.  I started to rechart on myfitnesspal.com to count my calories and keep track of my fat. I think or I know that I have been eating to much fat. Fat, even healthy fat like avacodos, does not do well with me. My husband can eat fatty food as long as its low carb. I have to eat low fat but are allowed some carbs. Each person has to figure out what your body can handle. Every person responds to food differently. Make sure that you are tracking your food to keep count of your calories. Drinks count for calories as well. I know for me, I can drink my calories in coffee. It is not exciting drinking water all day, but it is healthier. I started to cut down on the cream in my coffee. In a large ice coffee, I now do 2 creams instead of the four that they put in. I also made my protein muffins again and just recieved my PB2 in the mail. I will have cheat days on Fridays basicly because I have some kind of party every Friday. I will really try to keep my eating and drinking under control.

It felt good to get into the gym yesterday. I worked out back and shoulders. I started with the pull-ups. I could barely squeeze out four pull-ups. I normally do eight. I can't beleive how fast I lost my strength. Hopefully it will come back quick. I plan to start German Volume Training again next week to try to bulk up for the next competition. If I can keep my head on straight, I will do Granite State in October and Monster Mash in November as well as the Challenge in November. That will be three more competitions under my belt. In the mean time, I am training for the Pumkiman and Hampton Half. Even though I haven't hit the gym, I have been running up to six miles and biking 11 miles and swimmming. It will feel good to get back in the gym and in my old routine starting next week. We are taking a staycation this week, so working out will be altered. All I can do is try and try again and never give up. I take one day at a time because this lifestyle is all a mind game.

To Eat or Not To Eat

This is more of a ranting and raving blog, so pardon the casual chatter.

Since the competition ended, I can not get out of my way anymore. I have seemed to lost all motivation to eat clean and lift heavy. I have barely made it to the gym in three weeks. Part of that is due to July holiday and now my nanny is on vacation. Fortunately,  I have continued to run, bike, and swim several days a week. However, I feel like I haven't worked out because I have not hit the gym. I miss my weight routine. I believe that since I am off of my routine, I am having a hard time staying on a routine for my diet as well. I go through fazes where I am on track in the morning. I decide that this is it and I am going to eat clean. Then the afternoon and night cravings start.
 I have been addicted to salted nuts with chocolate. I can easily eat a days full of calories just on nuts. Then I feel guilty about eating it. Then I eat it again. I know I shouldn't, but I can't stop myself. I want to eat healthy but I let my cravings take over. I am losing all sense of self control. I can't stop the insanity. I decided that I need to run an hour everyday to make up for the nuts that I eat. Then I swim at night to balance the rest of the calories. I have managed to maintain my weight but if I keep this up, I will blow up. I cannot afford to gain weight. In August is the Physique Challenge followed by the Granite State. If I can reign myself in, I will have a chance.
My husbands says that I should enjoy myself and not work out so hard because in four weeks I will have to be strict again. I agree to a certain extent but I want this to be a lifestyle and not a phase. I go through so many "phases" in my life that I want to make a permanant change. I am consistnetly "into" something for a while and then slowly "get out" of it. I stop not caring about that phase and move onto something else. I am tired of doing that. I want to do the best that I can with what I have.

July 15

Its been a while since my last post. I have struggled with my diet over this time. I planned on competing July 21 at the Yankee Classic but I couldn't get my diet right. I was burnt out. I was tired of watching everything that I ate and worrying about losing weight. I just couldn't do it any more. Also, there were many parties before the competition that I wanted to enjoy my summer and not diet it away. So I took it a little to far over the Fourth of July Holiday. I pretty much ate for a week straight. It started Friday at my Pampered Chef party and ended the Sunday after July 4th. So for nine days it was pretty much a free for all. I felt guilty every time I ate "bad" food, but I couldn't control it. I ate just to eat. I was so full and looked at Marcia and asked why was I still eating. I couldn't answer, just that the food was so good. So on Monday July 8th, I got my head back on straight and dieted down. I had an unbelievable 7 pounds to lose. I felt gross and "fat'. Even though I was still way down in weight, I could feel that I was very bloated. I needed to do something drastically. I have been eating perfectly clean since Monday and have lost all the weight plus some. I feel great. My energy is higher and I am staying awake longer at night and sleeping in to 7 which I usually get up at 5:30. Finally, I am not so fatigued anymore.

After reading many blogs of Figure competitors, I decided that I shouldn't rush competing. I don't think I am ready. It took them years to get on stage. Why am I rushing it? I know it is my personality to "get things done", but I don't just want to check it off my list. I want to do well. I want to do my best. At this point, I don't think I have enough muscle on me to compete. Fortunately, there will be another Physique Challenge in August with the stage performance in November. That will give me enough time to continue to bulk up. I had such an enjoyment at the last competition that I wanted to do it again. The camaraderie of the group was encouraging. It didn't matter how you looked. It was the transformation that counted. There was far less stress and more excitement at the Works than I think there will be at the Pro competition. Fortunately, the Granite State Challenge is at the end of October. Since doing the Physique Challenge again, it will get me ready for the Granite State which is what a initially intended to do. And if I am not ready for that, then there is another one in April. I WILL get on a professional stage to compete. I just want to make sure I am ready physically and emotionally. Until then, I will do the Physique Challenge again and pose in November.

In the mean time, it is triathlon time. I am training for the Pumpkinman in September and the Hampton Half Marathon in September. I have been in the water twice and the bike once. I haven't been off to a good start. Unfortunately, my weight training will have to take a back seat to running, biking, and, swimming. I hope to continue to do both so I don't lose my hard earned muscle. But all I can do is take it one day at a time.

On the side, I am working at earning my personal training certificate. I plan to set up space in my chiropractic office to start training there. I will work with nutrition and exercise to help you reach your goals. If you are interested in training with me, feel free to email me and we can get started toward you goal.