Back in Control

I definitely feel better this week. Last week was really rough for my diet mentally and emtionally. I cheated more than I should have and I couldn't get out of my way. I was depressed and exhausted. But I am back on track emotionally and mentally now to take on this compeition. Unfortunately, I am still struggling at night with my diet a little. I am within my calories but I shouldn't be eating that piece of chocolate or handful of nuts or that one drink. My sweet tooth is getting the best of me. I need to conquer this. I WILL conquer this otherwise I won't be ready for the competition. I need to get my bodyfat lower so I am not the one onstage that people are pointing to and asking why I am up there. I just need to go to bed at 7pm before the cravings kick in. However, I don't think my kids will let me though.

New Work Out Program

I met with my wonderful and talented trainer, Caley, on Friday. She gave me a new exercise program. I use to watch her prepare for her competition and I wanted to do what she did. I will be using this program for the next 6 week until peak week. It is called German Volume Training. Holy cow! 10 sets of 10. I am excited to switch up my program. This volume training is suppose to help me get bigger faster and to keep my heart rate up to burn more fat. That it did. I was exhausted on Friday. I did 10 sets of 10 pull-ups and supersetted it with incline dumbbell press. After that, I proceeded to lift heavy 3 sets of 10 to finish off back and chest.
I started my pull-ups with a lot of energy and good form. I am able to do 8 pull-ups in a row. After that, I put my foot up on the bench to finish the reps. I continued to add my foot earlier and earlier as the training continue. By the last set I was able to only due 3 without any help. I was still impressed that I could do that many. Usually I burn out after the first set.
Caley had me start with 30 pounds for incline press and I said that I could go to 35 pounds. Why did I do that? I just made my work out harder. I should have stayed with the 30. Oh well. I was able to complete the 10 sets of 10. Of course, the last two reps of the last two sets, I think she was lifting my arms up more than I was.
I was definitely sore the next day. It is a good feeling. Its been a while since I felt sore. Changing up my routine is a great idea. It shocks my body into growth and that's what I need. I have 6 weeks left to grow as much as I can.
Monday was leg day. I supersetted squats and hamstring curls at 10 sets of 10. I lowered my weights on my squats. Last week I was squatting 120 pounds plus the bar. (165 pounds) This time I lowered it to 70 plus bar (115 pounds) I proceeded with this exercise and the hamstring curls. Caley saw me and told me to squat lower. I thought I was going pretty low. I was worried about my knees or not getting back up. I am a good student and did what she advised. I watched in the mirror and tried to get my butt lower. She said I need to go lower to work my gluteus muscles more. That I did. It is two days later and my butt and legs are still very sore. I don't mind my upper body being sore, but the legs makes it hard to do things around the house.

The Week After

It's been a tough diet week. I splurged over the weekend and gained several pounds. I wasn't too worried because I knew I could lose it by the end of the week. However, I am struggling with my diet. I want to eat anything and everything. I don't know if it has to do with the full moon or just me. I have been dealing with sick kids this week too.
I tried making new dishes to help, but I am not interested in eating them. I use to eat lean because I had too, now I don't want to. Hopefully I will get over this hump in the rode. Emotionally, I don't want to do this for another 6.5 weeks. I just want to eat pizza and drink wine. I am eating within my calories but still feel like a lump. I will continue to try and work out for the July show.

Break Time is Over

After two days of not eating healthy and splurging, I am ready to get back on track. When I was trying to decide what to eat yesterday for my last meal, I thought about Italian food and Buffalo Wings. However, my taste buds never acted up on these thoughts. I had no desire to eat bad again. Nothing was coming to the forefront of what to eat.
So, Scott came home from the grocery store with a van full of groceries. He bought double of what I normally buy. Why? Because he is going to eat what I eat now. He saw the transformation in me with what I was eating and he decided to eat healthy as well. He always eats a high protein and low carb diet but his fat intake is higher. Now he is going to join me for the next 7 weeks to help himself and keep me on track. With 7 weeks to go, I can't afford to cheat and get off track. I will be re-evaluating myself in July to see if I am ready for the competition. I hope that I am because October is a long way to go to keep eating clean 100% of the time. But my muscles would be much bigger in October than July. We'll see.
Off to the gym to start lifting heavy again.

Compeition Day

We did it!! We competed in our first Physique Challange through The Works. It was a great experience. We made many wonderful friends. I can't wait to continue on to see how I can transform in another 7 weeks. There were 20 of us who competed. There were some that never lifted weights before, others who were "cardio junkies". But we all came together for a 12 weeks program to change our bodies and minds.

I woke up at 5:30am because my mind was racing. Will I remember my poses? Am I dark enough? I need to paint myself again. With all these thoughts running through my head, I couldn't sleep. I was nervous like this was my first road race again. I came down stairs and made a cup of coffee. I needed to sit and relax and get out of my head. By 8 o'clock, I jumped in the shower, which gave me time for Scott to paint me again.

Marcia picked me up and we headed to the gym. It was pouring out. I had to stay covered up so that the tan wouldn't run. We went into the locker room to change. Everyone was very nervous and excited at the same time. Some were putting make-up on, others were doing their hair. I already had my make-up and hair finished. I did have to use bikini bite to stick my bathing suit on. It kept riding up on me. After the locker room, we went to have our pictures taken. It was funny because we couldn't get covered up fast enough after pictures. By the end of the show, we didn't care any more. We all just stood around in our bathing suits with ease.
Getting on stage was nerve racking. I was in the first group of women. We walked out and stood in line in our "relaxed" pose. The judges proceeded to call out different poses. Each time we had to relax then flex as hard as we can but still look relaxed. I looked out into the audience and everyone was cheering. It was so loud in there that it was energizing. My nerves were gone, now it was all excitement. My mom was there and I saw her wiping her eyes. Scott was standing and cheering, even Evan was clapping a little. After the group posing, we went onstage individually to pose. Some women went up dancing and strutting their stuff. They were up there for a good time. Others, including me, did different poses and couldn't get off the stage fast enough. Afterwards, we were called onstage for awards and group pictures.
We had a blast. I am very happy that I decided to do the Physique Challange. It helped to settle my nerves so I know what to expect at the July competition. Some of the girls might do it with me. It would be great to have a group together. This show also showed me how far I have come and still how much farther I need to go. It is going to be a tough seven weeks. But for now, I am enjoying the day and going to eat and drink whatever I want.

Carb Loading Day/ Final Day to Competition

Last day before Physique Challange. It tasted very good to eat my ezekiel bread this morning. That, with 4 egg whites never tasted better. I also ate my rice cakes and PB2 and protein muffins. Yummy!! It was great not to eat chicken breast again. I also didn't exercise at all and that felt weird. I wanted to atleast do cardio but I didn't want to deplete my water levels yet. For lunch we stopped at Papa Gino's and I consumed a greek salad with dressing on the side. I did eat the cheesy bread that went with it. It was heaven to my taste buds.

I was suppose to stop drinking after 6pm so that the carbohydrates can draw the water from under the skin into the muscles. However, I was at a wedding. I had my one glass of wine and then one seltzer water with blueberry vodka. It was heaven. For dinner I had appetizers of cheese and vegetables. I did eat the roll with the meal. For dinner we were served prime rib and green beans and very tasty mashed potatoes. We had to leave before the cake cutting because the boys were ready for bed. It was good that we missed dessert because they were serving mudpie as well as cake. I could have resisted the cake but not the mudpie.
We were in Rhode Island and still had to drive home to Maine. We stopped at Dunkin Donuts to get a coffee to help keep us awake. When we got home, Scott still had to spend a half hour painting me. I didn't go to bed until 1:30am and it was 2 before I went to sleep. I woke up at my normal 5:30am with the show on my mind. I just couldn't sleep anymore. I was worried about not remembering my poses or not being dark enough. I am too nervous to sleep. I know I need to be dehydrated and not drink water, but I had to have coffee. I figured that would help deplete me.
Two hours left before I leave for the show. Wish me luck.

Day 3 Carb Depletion

Today was definitely easier than yesterday. I woke up with a stomach ache. My stomach felt like it was completely empty and did its own work out. After a couple of hours it started to feel better. I had no energy and just wanted to sit on the couch all day. Fortunately, I was able to finish my boating safety course online. Even the coffee wasn't waking me up. I walked on the treadmill as usual but kept it to a 3.5 speed with no incline. I consumed more eggs and chicken breast. I did add sliced turkey and one chicken sausage to the menu. ( For future reference, I didn't lose weight because of this. There must be too much fat in it)

I had my weigh in and body fat measured. I drop .6%. I thought I would have dropped much more. I feel like I am getting extremely tiny. My size sixes are now huge and I needed to go shopping again. Even my belts don't fit. My shirts are hanging off me. It is a great feeling for everything to be big but I am not a shopper and I have to go shopping again. I will accumulate multiple size clothes this year due to training. So, I am at 16.9% body fat, which is great for maintenaince, but I still need to be lower. I must carry more on my butt and arms than anywhere else. Of course, I still have extra belly skin than will keep my pinch test higher.

Starting Friday, I get to start eating carbs again. However, I don't want to gain that extra weight back. I need to eat carbs to increase the size of my muscles and fill them back up with water. Hopefully, after Saturday, I will be able to drink a lot of water to flush it out. Of course, I won't be going to Olive Garden for my carbs, only rice cakes and rice and potatoe. Tonight I get to eat steak and cake from a wedding, and one glass of wine. I can't wait for that wine.

I also went for my spray tan in the afternoon. I was sprayed dark, not competition dark. I was afraid to go dark because I didn't want to look bad for the wedding. After spraying, I had to go to work. I walked in and the amount of complements and "Oh my's" I recieved kept me entertained. Even Scott said that I was really dark. I saw a patient that I haven't seen in a while and she grabbed my waist to see how "skinny" I was. She knew me before kids. She never knew me to be this thin. I never knew me to be this thin. Because of how tiny I look, I asked Caley about switching to bikini competition instead of figure. She said not to, that my muscles look small now because of the carb depletion and that they will get bigger. She said it takes years to be as big as I want, so not to give up. Plus, my legs are too big and lean for bikini. That made my feel better. I still have 7 weeks to pile on the muscle.

Scott asked me a good question last night. "Is it worth it?" "Is the diet worth it?" The transformation is amazing. I couldn't be happier. I do want to continue to the July show. At this point, I am contemplating the April show. I don't want to lose all the muscle I worked hard to achieve. However, I will be running 2 half marathons in the interim. Also, I want to get more use out of my suit and see if I can get bigger. Of course, we will see what happens next year.

For the diet, I am so ready to eat what I want. Scott was eating meatballs and eggplant parmagian last night for dinner. I was salvating thinking of when I can eat like that. It's not all the time. I know I will eat healthy after this for the most part, but it will be great to cheat. After having my body fat measured, I need to be stricter than ever to lose more fat over my muscles to make them pop.

For all the people who playfully called me a "B-i-t-c-h" for losing all the weight, all I can say is thank you. I worked my butt off to look like I do. I stopped making excuses and stopped saying that I am not going to "deprive" myself. I wanted to make a change and went full out. If I would have continued to "cheat" on the weekends, I would have never completed my goal. Don't give up your goal. If you want to lose weight, do it. Stick with it. Stop trying fad diets that work only if you stick with it. Stop saying that that diet doesn't work because you cheated or didn't stick with it. Being healthy is hard work. Put your health ahead of your taste buds. I've said it before, that healthly eating is a head game. Should I or shouldn't I eat this. One bite won't hurt me. One drink won't make a difference. It will. Don't let your craving take over. Win the game and be the best that you can be.