I have been having a hard time this last week. I am now allowed to eat more food and also some yummy food, but I feel like I am cheating. I am worried about spiraling out of control and gaining my weight back. I know I can eat more but when I exercise, I am not burning a lot calories. I use to burn 100 calories per 10 minutes. Now I am burning 50 calories every 10 minutes. So I have to work twice as hard to keep my weight down. I also feel like I gained 10 pounds even though I didn't. I am suppose to compete in the Works competition on Saturday, but I am feeling fat and out of shape. I haven't decided if I want to compete. I think its a little depression since I didn't do well in my previous competitions. I have more expectation on myself for this one and am afraid that I won't do well. It is expected of me to do well since I competed in a regular show. I don't want to be looked down upon for not doing well. I know I have come so far in a year and all I can go is up. But I still feel uneasy that I am not ready, especially since I haven't been strict this last week. I have barely even hit the gym. I had a whirl wind weekend where I ate too much and drank too much. So I definitely don't feel ready. However, will I regret not doing the show even if I don't do well? Should I do it as my final show for the year? I originally signed up for the commarderie but I am not feeling connected this time. I feel removed from it since I was doing a completely different exercise program the whole time. I also am not carb depleting like everyone else. I am not feeling the stress and nervousness like everyone else. I think I should just do it but its hard when I don't feel ready. I feel in worse shape than when I was ready but not really ready. If I don't do the show, then I won't feel like I belong. If I do the show, then I have to be spray tanned again, wear my heels again, and be in a bikini again. Blah!! I don't want to. I am so far removed from this that I can't wrap my head around it. But I don't want to regret it. What to do??
I met with my trainer to work out a new program in order to grow more muscle and get ready for the next year. I am ready to continue on my journey. I will not look back to where I was, I will keep moving forward. On to the next phase.
I met with my trainer to work out a new program in order to grow more muscle and get ready for the next year. I am ready to continue on my journey. I will not look back to where I was, I will keep moving forward. On to the next phase.
Don't be so hard on yourself Jody! I know myself and many other competitors can relate to much of this. The only reason you should do this next show is if you are enjoying it. (Maybe not the spray tan and heels:)) Most people will never have the courage or discipline to do what you have done so far, regardless of the outcome. Nobody will look down on you if you don't compete and you will do great if you do! You should be very proud of yourself. Keep it up!!
ReplyDeleteLorraine Gervais wrote: "Take pride in you accomplishment, anyone who gets on that stage has already won. What you gain on the road to get there is far more valuable than any trophy. Accept where you are now and know where you want to go. Post competition is a challenging time for all competitiors but trust that you now have the knowledge and ability to reach that level again whenever you choose. I really think you should come Saturday and enjoy the experience with your friends who are doing it. There is something to be gained in every experience. On stage or in the audience hope to see you on Saturday!!"
ReplyDeleteJody! You are so inspiring. It takes so much self discipline and inner strength to change your body. You are SO beautiful!! Make the most of every day. Embrace your health, your family & your life! Every day you make a difference in peoples' lives. Your smile gives me encouragement to keep at it. Sally Duggan :)
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